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Posts Tagged ‘downtown charleston’

Hello friends.

Me again. Last night, Animal Planet aired the episode of Monsters Inside Me featuring yours truly. And the timing couldn’t have been stranger.

In the fall of 2010 I was on an emergency flight from my college in South Carolina to my home in Maine, having not left my dorm room for a solid week, with extreme pain, and with a smattering of other bizarre symptoms. I never got to finish my degree at that university and I left South Carolina with much unresolved.

I never thought I’d have the chance to say the goodbye I wanted.

Friendships made there faded. College students have enough trouble keeping up if both parties have the energy to communicate post-school. My sudden absence was a black hole no one could figure out how to cross. I lost myself in a battle to survive.

I survived.

By the grace of God. And sometimes by His stubbornness when I lost the resolve. I survived.

In the spring of 2017 I was contacted by the team from Monsters Inside Me and I used the income from the show to book a ticket back to the state I had left too soon. In the fall of 2017, the same weekend I flew back to South Carolina, the show aired. And it brings a stark contrast to the life I had in 2010 and the life I have in 2017.

I’ll admit to feeling some real anxiety when I was on the plane that would carry me back to South Carolina. As I said, I had a lot of unresolved feelings in regards to friendships and independence. I lost so much of both when I moved back to Maine. And in the years since, I’ve collapsed more than thrived when I attempted to move beyond that little bubble.

The bubble got comfortable.

Routine became my safety net.

But in Maine I found a friend who loved me through my illness, seeing me as anything but ill in days when that was the only way I saw myself. And when friends like that move to states like South Carolina and decide to get married, off to South Carolina I go. Four days in a state I considered my nemesis. I was pretty sure it was a lost cause, but off I went.

And mercy of mercies, I got the goodbye I wanted. Like a kid returning to their childhood home after their family has all moved away, I dealt with so much that needed to be dealt with. Not to mention, along the way, I totally rocked the train-themed Escape Room, ate some delicious cake, drank oodles of coffee, and got lost in Downtown Charleston on a walk that scaled seven miles. And while my body needed a little more rest than the average person’s would have after that walk, I actually survived and slept and laughed and generally thrived, establishing old friendship and new friendship alike.

It wasn’t a perfect trip.

Life isn’t ever perfect. But neither is beauty. Still it was good. Good in ways I didn’t expect.

I’ve been wrestling with Who God really is, never doubting His existence or His goodness or His love, but wondering what those things look like in a world full of a pain and loss that don’t always feel significant.

This weekend I saw that sometimes it takes seven years to find the answers. Seven lean years. But seven years in which God was no less constant or good or true.

Whether you are in the seven fat years or the seven lean years (see Genesis 41), hang in there friends.

Tragedy will have its end.

God is and always will be good.

And that’s enough.

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