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Posts Tagged ‘kiash’

It is strange, but good to be back in Maine. I miss the life I left behind, the baby that I can still feel on my heart and the laughter of being consistently with other young people.  Yet I ached for this life and this home when I was away. I’m back to my fireside and my major household chore as ‘Master of the Blaze’; back to my nephews and their beautiful smiles; back to my Tempur-pedic and my gorgeous room; back to my attic-office and favorite candles  and white-board that together get the creativity flowing; back to the safety of family and friends.

It is a good thing to have safety in family. On Sunday two friends and I were heading out for a post-birthday dinner when a very creepy, clearly not in control of himself man lurked in our parking lot inches from my car. I’ve got to say that it put a start through me as I hit the locks and backed carefully out of my driveway. And while the cops were dealing with the issue within a couple of minutes it was a comfort to know that at the honk of my car my dad would have been outside in full battle mode in seconds. It is good to have support, and I am deeply grateful for the life God has given me. I drink in the beautifully simplistic moments surrounding me lately.

So as I take a respite in Maine, I’m finding that the creativity is steadily coming back to me and my marketing campaign is most certainly getting better. Doubts plagued me for years. It is so good now to live in clarity and peace. God is opening doors and blessing me with trust for what come next. Continue to pray as we look for new speaking engagements, new equipment, new authors, and as I search for new healing for my body. As the Xsardis peeps would say, “Kiash!”

Also, you’ll want to check out the five album give away from http://joshgarrels.com/. Don’t forget to tip him as all proceeds go to the work of World Relief in the DR Congo! The music is what I listen to in the background as I write and I highly recommend it.

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Puzzles… For the record, I am no good at puzzles. I guess it is one of those things that you need to practice at, but I have no natural talent and no experience. So when I picked out a murder-mystery puzzle for my New Years Eve party, I had high hopes my guests would stay around, be excellent puzzle-doers, and put it together before they left. The best laid plans of mice and men… Little did I realize that two five hundred piece puzzles put in the same box without a picture to work off would be difficult. The day after the party, my one remaining guest and I and my mother worked on the puzzle until 3pm to finally completed it and solved the puzzle. So next year at the party… no puzzle. But I’ll certainly host another party.

It was a blast to see old friends, play games, laugh, eat, and toast the New Year. I am amazed that complete strangers shared with each other what they wanted out of the New Year. Most of our answers were pretty deep. Not athletic commitments we knew we would give up on. Instead, we had internal goals of discovering God and learning how to use our time. I love my friends. Those resolutions are the ones that matter. Life never turns out quite how we think it will, but growing towards God is always a needed resolution.

Looking back… well a lot has changed since last January. I recorded my first CD, went on two major book tours, met some people who changed my life, and discovered I had Lyme and Babesiousis. Those are events. The real changes happened beneath the skin, where I learned the meaning of peace and the value of rest. I think I’ll save most of the internal reflection until February when I graduate. But I can easily remark that God has taught me much, taken me on new adventures, showed me good people, and taught me that seasons come and go but He is constant. Hallelujah. As I close on chapter (or one volume) of my life, I can look to the future and say (as the people of Xsardis do) with confidence “Kiash”.

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I was reading about Joseph. Strangely enough it has been over a year since I read Genesis (after reading the Old Testament in a semester for school, I took a break and switched to the New Testament. Then I covered Psalms, Proverbs, and some of the Prophets. Now I am finally back to Genesis) so the stories are more fresh than they have been in a long time.

At some point while he was in slavery, Joseph was forced to choose: whether he would trust God had a plan despite the fact that his world was literally falling apart, or whether he would grow bitter for the things that had happened. Maybe we could justify Joseph being resentful and untrusting; but he wasn’t. His choice to throw his life into the hands of the Almighty shaped Joseph into the man that would save the world–literally.

And then I got thinking about Mary. The shame and rejection she must have borne; the questions and fear that must have plagued her. She carried the greatest Gift, yet her road would never be easy again. She had to make that same choice: to trust God or to run? (Note: when Jonah ran, it didn’t work out so well. Part of what I preach about when I go to youth groups is that yes, the road can be difficult when you are following God; but God’s plans are the best for us. He wants us to have the best life possible so following His plan is always better.)

As New Years rolls along, Americans everywhere think about what resolutions they will make. This requires a fair amount of reflection, and it’s easy to get lost in that reflection. We can begin to doubt whether God’s plan is really best for us–sometimes subconsciously, sometimes overtly. I definitely think that Joseph and Mary had to keep making that choice to trust again and again, but I do believe that there was a moment when they surrendered themselves–for better or worse–into the hand of God. We must do the same.

I talk about this a lot in the Xsardis Chronicles, and I sum it up with the word, ‘kiash’: a prayer for victory and an acceptance of the cost and the results, whatever they may be. Joseph and Mary’s roads were not easy or bump-free, but God was trustworthy for them. He was trustworthy for Jonah too, even though the prophet didn’t like it. Joseph and Mary’s decision to stand affected so many others. Just look at Christmas. Just look at the cross.

So, are you ready to stand?

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The darkness grew through the morning until the heavens let loose a heavy rain and a mountainous thunder.

Barlow Girl filled my ears, the smell of a s-more candle my noise, and memories of a busy day my mind. I stopped to look out the window from the protection of my home as the rain fell and the water of my shower grew warm. I wanted to skip the shower and dance in the rain (as I have done many times before).

The world is washed clean now and only bits of the rain and blackened sky remain.

My thoughts turn back to the week I have had. The busyness, the learning, the relationship changes, but mostly the personal-relationship I have my God and how He reached down and blessed me this week. Ever since I came home from college to the ER in November, I have been serving as best as I can, waiting for the rain to make me new and the sun to come out again. Now the rains seem to be heading away and I have learned much.  There will be another storm again, making me clean and better, but I don’t fear it. Because my God has proven faithful! As Issym might say, “Kiash!”

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“I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord,” Pslam 27:13-14.

I am loving my current read-through of the Psalms. I have not spent much time in the Old Testament lately, since I devoted my fall semester to it for a Bible class. But as I get into the Old Testament again, especially Psalms, I find it entirely refreshing. I love how relationship-based EVERYTHING is. The Psalmists just pour out their hearts before God, with tears and cries and shouts of joy. And because I am in a less-volatile state of mind than I was in high school I am able to do more than just cry along with the Psalmists. I am able to pray and rejoice and be sad and take encouragement. And the lessons I am learning are naturally stemming into my imagination, which is just awesome.

These particular verses I found already underlined as I read them tonight. I think that they show particularly well what was running through my head when I wrote Issym and Asandra and used the word kiash (a term for victory and absolute faith). After describing the trials and the fears and the hopes the Psalmist has, he goes onto say that he is confident as he trusts in the Lord. He is not only confident, but he takes action: he waits and takes heart in the Lord. He seeks to rally his courage, believing in God’s mercy. This may sound inactive, but if you think about it, it’s really very active.

Trust is one of the hardest things we will ever give. Waiting is one of the most difficult things we will ever do. Putting our confidence in an (mostly) invisible God goes against everything we have ever been taught by the world. And as I am discovering this summer, all of this requires a constant training of the mind. It is hard work to say, “Okay God. I got nothing. You got everything.”

I watched the Green Lantern today. When the evil monster (of fear)  is trying to consume the hero (who is supposed to have no fear and steel his will against the evil), evil is taunting good. Instead of just standing there and taking the taunts (and lets face it, who could have blamed the guy if he had? He was a little busy trying to stay alive), the hero starts quoting the oath of the green lantern. He reminds himself why he is there, who he is and where his power comes from. As he masters his courage with this reminder, he is able to defeat the evil despite the pain in his body, the sorrow in his mind and the fear pounding on his heart’s door.

This was the place kiash was born to be used. A simple cry of victory would have underplayed the significance of what the hero was facing. He saw certain death and still fought on, trusting in a higher power and quoting his Scripture, of sorts. And this is what the Psalmist also saw and did. As I ‘train’ this summer, I am learning that kiash is not just a cry for super-heroes and fantasy characters. It is the cry for our everyday crazy lives as we learn to surrender to a mighty God.

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