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Posts Tagged ‘laptop’

This weekend was Captain America 2 (twice) and God’s not dead (once) and book reading and sleeping and a couple of friends. Its the end of a brilliantly busy week. I wish I could stay in my big new bed and take a nice, long nap, but I’m off in just a few minutes. To run to Starbucks and meet a friend I have not seen in a couple months. And, yes, it will be worth the sacrificed nap.

So I don’t have much brain power for this Sunday afternoon blog post, but I wanted to write… well, something. Something to prove that my fingers still work and that my mind has a little capability left. Maybe not much, but a little.

I cannot give you spoilers for either movie, except to say that God’s not dead is actually worth your time. I had low expectations and went mostly just to support the Christian movie industry, but I was pleasantly surprised by the acting and plot twists. So go, if you haven’t.

As for me, if I stay on my bed any longer my eyes will close, my laptop will fall, and my coffee-buddy will find herself waiting for a friend who never shows up. So off I go…

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As I was working on the novel yesterday, I came across the following note from my old self:

Insert random details about the building and city of your choice. Yes, you skimped the last time you were writing, but, hey, it was 2:34AM, so you were understandably exhausted and had poor judgment.

Reading this was highly amusing to me. Sanity and logic truly are not my strong points when writing in the early hours of the morning. Yet, I still contest that some of my best work is done there. When perfection fades in sleepiness, when everything gleams as bigger and deeper than it might otherwise appear, when the creativity of childhood still beats within my heart.

It was 10:30 when I put the laptop aside last night, with another thousand words in my favor. And as soon as I could pry my groggy eyes open this morning I wrote again. It is dedication more than inspiration, but words–and some of them very good–are falling from my mind into the realm of reality. So be it.

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I have known since yesterday that I needed to take a little solace with a chocolate croissant at Starbucks. I point out the croissant instead of the coffee because, quite honestly, I drink enough coffee at home for three people. I certainly do not come to Starbucks for more caffeine. It took a good deal of maneuvering to finally make it here. By the time I did my hair was frazzled only slightly more than my mind.

Now, I am not as shy as I once was. If I see a person from my past I no longer dodge that awkward “Do we know each other?” conversation. Instead, I plunge head first into the icy waters of reconnecting. Today that dialogue went something like this. (Paraphrase warning.)

Me: “Hey! Did you go to Bangor Christian?”

Him: “Yes. I did. A while ago. Wait a minute. Oh. Hi! It took me a second to recognize you.”

Me: Filler dialogue. Then: “So, how are you? What is your wife up to?”

Insert random dialogue until we come to his question: “What are you doing for work?”

Me: “I’m writing full-time.” (Of course I don’t mention the eight hours a week I labor for my parents at the law firm because my true day job is ‘author’ not ‘chief errand runner.’ Seriously, which one sounds better? And if there is no question of honesty involved, then I will be leaving out the law office clerk title every time.)

Him: Stammering. “Like, for the newspaper? Or?”

Me: Completely unprepared to have gotten past the first thirty seconds of reconnecting dialogue. “Um… I write books.” Then, a bit more smoothly. “Living the dream. It doesn’t pay much, but, you know…” (Had to stick in the honesty there.)

Him: “That’s great!”

Me: Now feeling completely out of my depth and remembering that I, in fact, still the same girl that has run from people and friendships and conversation as much as is humanly possible… “Well, thanks for the coffee. Bye!”

To the old friend’s credit he was remarkably warm and friendly for someone who probably does not even remember my name. And to my credit, I jumped outside my comfort zone in a major way. Perhaps one day conversations like this will be so common place that they won’t be worthy of a blog mention. Until then… I leave you and return to my hermit state with my laptop and headphones.

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I cannot quite peg myself as introvert or extrovert. I know people who would have definite impressions on the matter, but–inside–I know that this is yet another category where I do not fit well on one side or the other. I have heard it said that you can tell which you are by how you recharge. Do you restore yourself by being alone or by being with other people? Truthfully, both. And if I don’t get both–often in equal measure–I am likely to unravel.

Often, my best learnings and calmings come from solitary moments with my laptop. When characters grown from life experience with other people and lessons whispered in the dark by God finally make their way into a cohesive, understandable context on the pages of a story I write. This is where I soar. These blissful moments are most often achieved at times when I have simultaneous access to inner-silence and the energy of life. See, I find my best restoration in the steady beats of Lindsey Stirling coming through my headphones as I sip bitter coffee in the corner of Starbucks, hoarding an outlet to the disapproval of other writers and students. And when I leave, I leave refreshed.

Introvert? Maybe. Extrovert? Maybe. Both? Probably. Weird? Definitely. Me? Completely. And that’s good enough.

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Home again, home again. I smiled like a fool as I drove down Union Street today in pursuit of Bangor’s best and cheapest notebooks. Words have begun bubbling up inside of me and, surprisingly enough, I have found the urge to write them instead of type them. I never last very long with the hand-written format, but it can maintain the creativity that would be otherwise lost in the few seconds it takes to pull open my laptop.

I popped into the office today, just because I wanted to see my mom. I guess all this thinking has finally started leading me somewhere because we landed in the middle of an hour and a half business meeting. Now we are ready to take on the promotion of my next book and, starting this week, begin editing Mark of Orion and plan my next tours and steps. I would be lying if I denied my nerves for the work of these next few months, but I am also eagerly anticipating flexing these ‘business’ muscles I earned a Bachelor’s degree to obtain.

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