Posts Tagged ‘soul change’

God is not fast.

The belief that He is may be one of the deepest misconceptions we have. He can be fast, of course, but He isn’t. Not usually.

The answer to my deepest prayers is, nearly always, no. I’ve wrestled with how that can be when the requests are for good, good things—things God entrusted me to watch over. Just take a peek at this:

Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! ~Matthew 7:9-11 (ESV)

But here’s the thing. The answer isn’t no, not really. It’s yes. Yes, He will grant the request, just not with bread or with a scorpion. Because God is in the kitchen making a cake.

Let me put it another way. God is slow because my soul is slow to change, to see, to understand. No, I can’t have bread because yes, He wants to give me abundantly more. It’s hard for my mortal little mind to understand when my belly is aching from hunger and all I want is immediate carbs. If the answer is no, that is all I hear. But God is whispering yes. Yes. He will richly satisfy me.


This search for His ‘yes’ has hollowed me out. I feel like Jacob must have after wrestling with God until dawn (Genesis 32). He got a hip out of joint, a new name, and a blessing for his trouble. God could have taken Jacob down in less than a second, but He didn’t. He wrestled, all night long. I highly doubt this was because God couldn’t wait a few thousand years for MMA wrestling to start streaming.

God isn’t slow for His sake. He is slow for ours. He met Jacob in a time of his absolute desperation and said, no. No, I will not answer your most heartfelt desire: a promise that you and your family will spared your brother’s wrath. Instead, God said, yes. Yes, I will show you Myself.

Jacob responded by naming that place Peniel or ‘face of God’. Encouraged by the blessing, he faced and survived Esau, but that wasn’t the point. Meeting God changed Jacob. And that would be the answer to a thousand questions and requests Jacob didn’t even know to ask and make. It was a soul change he didn’t know to seek. It was abundantly more.

That’s the point. That’s the cake.

I asked God for so many things, not least of all physical healing. The answer was no. But what I didn’t hear was: yes, I would have healing. Soul-cleansing, life-bringing healing of my inmost parts. Of course, that comes with a mighty wrestle.

I have been to Peniel; else, I am there right now. Have you?


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