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Posts Tagged ‘writer’s block’

I spent about five days trying to get myself out of the latest writing jam. Reviewing where my characters had gone and would go, writing notes and outlines, chatting with said characters at all hours, re-reading relevant parts of my last novel. And finally there was only one place to go. So I wrote the section and am picking up speed again. Let’s hope the road blocks get fewer and farther between.

Have you heard that phrase, “Make your job your dream and you’ll never work a day in your life”? Personally, I think that is a statement full of lies, with more potential to discourage discerning hopefuls than to encourage them. See, marriage is a dream but one I know will be full of hard, hard work and occasional hurt. Friendships are worthwhile, but I’ll cry over every one that matters. Kids–oh my, they do make life fulfilling, but they take a crazy amount of work. Why should a dream job be any different?

There are days and weeks when doing my job feels like the sweet dream it was meant to be. But there are many more days. Days of plot line hurdles and writers block and negative reviews. Days of staying up late to meet a deadline and saying no to going out with friends to meet yet another deadline. Days to rewrite blocks of work and sore backs from leaning over a laptop. Days of doing law homework in-between speaking engagements and friends never knowing where in the world you are. Days of scraping together fifty cents for a hot apple cider and of wondering where the money will come. Days of cold calls. Days of facing fears. Days of failure.

See, little does the statement about the dream job know: success would not feel like success without those days. Without the days when I applied for other jobs because the dream just wasn’t panning out. Days when I nearly quit. Days when I chose to stick to the dream because it was worth the hurt.

Next time you think about your dream job and consider all the work that will go into it, remember: it is that hard work which makes the dream sweet. It’s not a dream, it’s not a life, if it’s not worth fighting for.

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I have lost yet another piece of scrapbook paper in my quest for writing. There is nothing to help an illustrator see inside my mind like a picture and there are no pictures like scrapbook papers. So as I met with Ande Binan today I brought along one of my favorite scrapbook backgrounds, willing to sacrifice it in pursuit of a beautiful cover. Looks like it is going to be worth it.

It was good to be back in Davinci Signs today working alongside Ande Binan (who designed Asandra’s cover) to discover Xsardis’ cover. I say the smallest thing from my book and he (with his incredible mind) sees it. He explains something he sees and its get my writing juices flowing. I think I actually learned about the book in designing its cover. More with Xsardis than the other two books, I am seeing that the cover is more than a snazzy scene from the book to grab readers; it is part of who the book actually is. Designing a cover is like seeing ultrasound pictures for the first time. It is a beautiful and exhilarating thing as what I have carried around purely inside my head I can now begin to see.

After my mom/manager and I left Davinci Signs, we headed to My Fork, talking business and planning the book release party. For the last few months I have been flying solo (and so has my mom/manager) as I did what I had to do (and she did what she had to do). It is awesome to see the team coming back together. This afternoon I rewrote a scene that explains so much of the legend of Xsardis and really brings the three books together. But there is a lot of heartache involved in that scene. I felt so empty as I finished it. Yet, the bittersweet connection I have to the characters of Xsardis is a really good thing. My writer’s block exists when I lose touch with the personalities of the characters. Now, the different facets of publishing are starting to move towards a clearer goal!

November, here we come!

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Naturally I love Castle–the crime solving show following sharp female homicide detective Kate Beckett and her author tagalong Richard Castle. The creative moments of the show when Castle has his daughter duct-tape him to a chair so that his mind can stir on how to get his character out of a similar situation; the eye flashes of success as his mind spins on all new ideas; the passion and concern that only fellow authors can truly grasp. Woopee! And Beckett? An oustanding character. When we rented the first two seasons on Netflix my mom started calling me her Beckett and I have to say that I took it as a big compliment. Confidence, snazzy dressing, witty comments, sharp mind, huge heart, sorrow in the past but hope in the future. Woopee x2!

So when Becket and Castle have the moments where they play off each others sentences, each spinning the other towards the final conclusion, it feels like both sides of my brain are finally working at the same time. And when Becket and Castle fight, it feels like the (more frequent) times when they are out of synch, but somehow shooting for the same goal. I love the show!

As my writer’s block grew this semester I found more and more strategies on how to beat it. I grew considerably envious of Beckett’s white board–a massive dry-erase masterpiece with pictures and comments. For hours she would stare at the board until she saw the missing pieces suddenly fit. For hours I would attempt to draw my mini-timelines in frustration. With my coming summer job as  I writer I indulged in a few luxuries. A new set of pencils (yay!), a specially-chosen notebook (perfect for the biography notes) and a dry-erase board. I have already scratched out my ideas and thoughts, wiped them away, and begun again. Finally my Beckett board has found its way into my life. I love it!

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